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Colder than your ex. Bolder than your average tee. The Zero Fuchs Eisbock T-Shirt is the final frosty drop in the Zero Fuchs parody beer label series — a sharp blend of German beer lore, goat-fueled attitude, and zero chill.
This design dials up the Alpine absurdity with two grinning goats clinking frothy mugs in front of a frozen mountain backdrop. Above them? Icicles, an imperial eagle crest, and the NOPE globe mark — all surrounding that frosty Gothic script. At the base, the tagline hits: Kälter als dein Herz (“Colder than your heart”) — because of course it is.
DTG printed in single-color contrast across two crisp colorways, this one’s for the cold-blooded, the ironically festive, and the beer label collectors with trust issues.
Key Features:
Material: 100% Organic Ring-Spun Combed Cotton – sustainable, soft, and breathable
Fit: Classic unisex cut that’s as versatile as a pair of ski goggles in July
Graphics: High-res DTG print with non-toxic water-based inks
Colorways:
Anthracite Tee with Ice Blue Print
White Tee with Alpine Green Print
Design Origin: Concept and artwork by Mr. Nope for the satirical Zero Fuchs beer series
Perfect For:
Apres-ski cynics, snowbound doomers, and people who think “festive” should come with a warning label.
PRODUCT SAFETY AND EU COMPLIANCE (GPSR 2023):
This shirt complies with the EU General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR 2023). It is produced using eco-friendly inks and sustainable manufacturing practices. All materials are skin-safe and ethically sourced.
CARE INSTRUCTIONS:
Machine wash cold, inside out
Do not bleach
Tumble dry low or hang dry
Iron inside out, avoiding graphic areas
Colder than your ex. Bolder than your average tee. The Zero Fuchs Eisbock T-Shirt is the final frosty drop in the Zero Fuchs parody beer label series — a sharp blend of German beer lore, goat-fueled attitude, and zero chill.
This design dials up the Alpine absurdity with two grinning goats clinking frothy mugs in front of a frozen mountain backdrop. Above them? Icicles, an imperial eagle crest, and the NOPE globe mark — all surrounding that frosty Gothic script. At the base, the tagline hits: Kälter als dein Herz (“Colder than your heart”) — because of course it is.
DTG printed in single-color contrast across two crisp colorways, this one’s for the cold-blooded, the ironically festive, and the beer label collectors with trust issues.
Key Features:
Material: 100% Organic Ring-Spun Combed Cotton – sustainable, soft, and breathable
Fit: Classic unisex cut that’s as versatile as a pair of ski goggles in July
Graphics: High-res DTG print with non-toxic water-based inks
Colorways:
Anthracite Tee with Ice Blue Print
White Tee with Alpine Green Print
Design Origin: Concept and artwork by Mr. Nope for the satirical Zero Fuchs beer series
Perfect For:
Apres-ski cynics, snowbound doomers, and people who think “festive” should come with a warning label.
PRODUCT SAFETY AND EU COMPLIANCE (GPSR 2023):
This shirt complies with the EU General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR 2023). It is produced using eco-friendly inks and sustainable manufacturing practices. All materials are skin-safe and ethically sourced.
CARE INSTRUCTIONS:
Machine wash cold, inside out
Do not bleach
Tumble dry low or hang dry
Iron inside out, avoiding graphic areas
Colder than your ex. Bolder than your average tee. The Zero Fuchs Eisbock T-Shirt is the final frosty drop in the Zero Fuchs parody beer label series — a sharp blend of German beer lore, goat-fueled attitude, and zero chill.
This design dials up the Alpine absurdity with two grinning goats clinking frothy mugs in front of a frozen mountain backdrop. Above them? Icicles, an imperial eagle crest, and the NOPE globe mark — all surrounding that frosty Gothic script. At the base, the tagline hits: Kälter als dein Herz (“Colder than your heart”) — because of course it is.
DTG printed in single-color contrast across two crisp colorways, this one’s for the cold-blooded, the ironically festive, and the beer label collectors with trust issues.
Key Features:
Material: 100% Organic Ring-Spun Combed Cotton – sustainable, soft, and breathable
Fit: Classic unisex cut that’s as versatile as a pair of ski goggles in July
Graphics: High-res DTG print with non-toxic water-based inks
Colorways:
Anthracite Tee with Ice Blue Print
White Tee with Alpine Green Print
Design Origin: Concept and artwork by Mr. Nope for the satirical Zero Fuchs beer series
Perfect For:
Apres-ski cynics, snowbound doomers, and people who think “festive” should come with a warning label.
PRODUCT SAFETY AND EU COMPLIANCE (GPSR 2023):
This shirt complies with the EU General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR 2023). It is produced using eco-friendly inks and sustainable manufacturing practices. All materials are skin-safe and ethically sourced.
CARE INSTRUCTIONS:
Machine wash cold, inside out
Do not bleach
Tumble dry low or hang dry
Iron inside out, avoiding graphic areas
